By Jennifer Webb
Let’s assume you’re very successful at what you do, but with constantly changing rules and regulations, juggling priorities and a lot more on your plate lately, you could use a few ideas to continue taking your department to the next level.
As a speaker and consultant I am always researching smarter ways to be effective, and something I discovered years ago still seems to hold true, no matter how many new paradigms and business models are out there, when we’re looking at how to take departments to the next level it’s all about the relationships we build. These relationships are the foundation that enable us to build rapport, handle differences and work more effectively with others.
I’ve seen some people soar in business and others fail dismally, and the successful ones seem to ALWAYS start with the understanding that it’s the relationships that matter. Author Harvey McKay once said people don’t care how much you know when they know how much you care. And as we empower others and take time to build relationships, we know this is what ultimately enables us to be effective.
There’s a current statistic that says we think 60,000 thoughts a day, and 90% of these thoughts are repeats. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out we’re only using 10% of our creativity. And William James, the father of modern psychology, said that very often when we think we’re thinking, we’re just rearranging our prejudices.
So what’s my point? If we are looking for ways to do more with less, handle constant change and continue to balance multiple priorities effectively, then we must start thinking differently, focusing on techniques to create new solutions, new answers to old problems. In today’s business culture the ones who are the most flexible win, and the winners are those who are most willing to step outside comfort zones and look at the myriad of other alternatives. Here are some ideas that reinforce these philosophies:
Idea Number 1: Speak Their Language: So often we can’t build the relationships we need to work more efficiently with people because we’re not speaking their language. If we were trying to build rapport with a Russian colleague, we wouldn’t be speaking Japanese to him. Yet every day we go into offices talking to each other in a foreign language. Let me give you an example. If you have a manager or colleague who is a no nonsense, cut-to-the-chase kind of person, you would NEVER go in and chat about your weekend and give her a 10 minute rundown on a current personal problem. This would be highly ineffective and probably increase frustration all the way around. And if someone reports to you who is garrulous and always wants to talk about his weekend and asks about yours, if you’re too abrupt he will start to resent you big time, which will get in the way of morale and productivity. Obviously there’s a fine line, but the more you know about how people want to be treated and the language they prefer to speak in, the more effective you’ll be.
Idea Number 2: Visualize the results you want. It’s essential to have a clear picture of what you want and need, an understanding of what it’s going to take to make it happen and an ability to help others see your vision, if it’s going to be something that everyone on the team buys into. It’s just not possible to create what you want within your office, to really take business to the next level, unless you have a very clear picture of what that is. What seems to happen however is that as we “see” ourselves, much of the time we’re looking at what isn’t working, what we seem to be failing at or struggling with. How and what we think about ourselves usually becomes our reality.
We become what we focus our energy on, good or bad. If you hear yourself saying “I’ll never get this done” “He’s always such a micro manager” “It’s not possible to finish all this before the day’s over, so why bother” we’re talking ourselves out of creating the results we want. It’s been said we have a dialogue of 600 to 800 words per minute with ourselves, and most of the time we’re worrying about what we don’t want to happen. Since we’re the most influential people we will talk to all day long, it’s time to be aware of these dialogues and start to change the message!
See where you want to be, then add emotion (get excited, feel the thrill of getting compliance from a difficult colleague or the satisfaction of success in handling a challenging customer) in order for the subconscious mind to kick in, get involved, and make your vision a reality. This stuff works. Let me give you an example. A man named James Nesbitt played golf at a certain course, where his scores were documented. When he became a prisoner of war during the Vietnam conflict he was put in a tiger cage, which didn’t allow him to fully stand up. He was incarcerated there for the better part of seven years, and in order to keep his sanity, he visualized playing golf (perfect game, of course) four hours every day. When released, and in lousy physical shape he went back to the same course where he had played. He had not held a golf club in seven years, yet because of his visualization, he dropped 20 strokes off his game. Use this philosophy, it works. Many of our greatest athletes “see” themselves being successful before they ever begin to play. (Can you imagine what a clear vision Tour de France cyclist Lance Armstrong had in his mind during every leg of his journey?) And in interviewing Muhammad Ali years ago, he “saw” every fight, what round he was going to win in. This technique will enable you to start focusing on what you want out of your day, not what you don’t want. And since others learn by being led, not told, then the clearer our vision, the easier it will be for others to “see” it and follow.
Idea Number 3: When people act out, a need has not been met. One of the most challenging tasks is dealing with difficult people, which can be a catch-all for all sorts of frustrating situations. Keep in mind anytime a person is acting out, a need is not being met. Imagine a pause button in the center of your hand, and when the next annoying situation presents itself, press that button and ask yourself what’s the need that is driving this behavior. Knowledge is power, and with the knowledge of what’s really being communicated to you, you have tremendous power to build a smarter relationship with the person.
As an example, I was talking to attendees at a recent conference in Iowa, and a woman mentioned she had worked with a challenging supervisor; he was always arrogant and never liked her suggestions. He had to be right. Assessing his needs, possibly coming from insecurities, we discussed it was imperative to get his input, help him think ideas were from him and make him look good. You might never want to invite this person to dinner, but the whole idea is the more you can help people feel safe—even the obnoxious ones—and realize what their needs are, the more effective and efficient you’ll be in running your office. And a side benefit, much less stress for you!
Idea Number 4: Ask yourself how you’re limiting your own success. We all set limits on our greatness. Analyze where and how you are blocking your own success. There’s an old story of a little girl who was helping her dad water the yard, and suddenly she called out “Help, there’s no more water” Her dad looked down at her and said “then get your foot off the hose.” Let’s look at ways we may need to lift our feet and get out of our own way.
In taking charge of a situation do you doubt your ability to command respect? In prioritizing or delegating or any other task do you second guess your abilities? Look at your beliefs and where you believe you aren’t as capable or as effective as you’d like to be. Then look at where those beliefs come from, and how they are just limiting thoughts and nothing more.
Model excellence in others, those who have the abilities you’d like to create. Since we know 90% of initial communication is nonverbal, it is essential to command the visual and tonal qualities as well as the verbal ones if we’re really planning to create different habits to break old patterns.
Idea Number 5: Ask for advice, and listen to what you hear. You don’t have to take it, but when you respect someone in the industry, ask him or her for feedback/input, and then don’t close your ears to what you hear. Years ago I remember being backstage with illusionist David Copperfield after a performance, and the first thing he asked was “What didn’t you like?” At his level of excellence he was still asking what could be done differently, how things could improve. So often I’ve seen people run a meeting or handle a problem and then wait for the compliment, never once looking to see how and where there could be improvements.
Be a sponge in gathering information from others in all walks of life. Obviously you don’t (and shouldn’t) take everyone’s advice, but there’s often a lot to learn by being open, and especially by going outside your own industry.
Idea Number 6: Commit. Over the years I’ve noticed the main difference between greatness and mediocrity is really quite simple, the great ones keep on until they get where they want to be, and they still continue to learn and grow. It doesn’t matter your degree of talent or skill, if you’re determined you’ll find a way; if you’re not determined you’ll make a million excuses. I remember a conversation I once had with a client. I was new in the business, kept her in my data base, and from time to time would check in with her, sometimes sharing information I thought she would find pertinent. Eventually we worked together and when I asked her what prompted her to hire me she responded “You just kept calling.” I’m not suggesting we become pests, but realize there are so many solutions to specific issues; we just need to keep on searching.
Idea Number 7: Start Now. Knowledge without action is useless and knowledge with action gets us results. Start today. Many people wear a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their foreheads. So often the reason we don’t start is because we are waiting, waiting until we have more time, until we finish a project, until we get promoted, until we get some help in the department, and the list is endless. A little Zulu boy, Nikosi Johnson, who was born HIV positive and knew he would never live to reach adolescents, became an international spokesperson for Aids. He reminded us that we should do what we can, with what we’ve got, where we are, right now. That says it all, doesn’t it? It’s not about the waiting, it’s about the doing with whatever we’ve got, wherever we are now.
Finally, humorist Will Rogers said even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Assuming no one wants to get run over, our job is to focus on what we need to change, keep our sense of humor and our flexibility, and dare to create what we want, right now.
Model the excellence in others (saves us a lot of time, not having to reinvent as much as we go along), be open to new ideas from any direction, and you’ll be absolutely amazed at your results!
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